TIPS FOR BOSSES AND MANAGERS
(from your secretary)

This set of rules from a secretary will apply to quite a few bosses . . . are you one of them?

Read through carefully, it may help to improve a relationship!


BOSS, pleeeeeease note

1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4.00pm and then bring it to me. I find the challenge of a deadline refreshing.
   
   
2. If it's really a "rush job", run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to enquire how it's going. That helps. Or even better, hover behind me advising me at every keystroke.
   
   
3. Always leave without telling anyone where you're going. It give me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.
   
   
4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books or supplies, don't open the door for me. I need to learn to function as a paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is good training.
   
   
5. If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me which is the priority one. I am psychic.
   
   
6. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.
   
   
7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If word gets out, it could mean a promotion. If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped.
   
   
8. If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. There is no reason to confuse me with useful information.
   
   
9. Never introduce me to the people you're with. I have no right to know anything. In the corporate food chain I am plankton. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.
   
   
10. Tell me all your little problems. No-one else has any and it's nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having to pay so much tax on your brand new company car.
    
    
11. Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goals SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living increase. I'm not here for the money anyway.

(Writer unknown)